My father in his passing gave me the most precious gift that I will treasure forever. Although on one level he was terrified of death and denied the existence of spirit and its continuance after death, on another level, beneath his conscious understanding, there was a knowing. 

Dad had such an enormous heart and he shared that with everyone; he loved his family and was always there for us. He was dying of cancer and he knew he would soon "fall off the perch", as he referred to it. So he took care of everything, tying up all of the loose ends and making it the least stressful it could possibly be for mum. Mum had spent much of her adult life dedicated to her spiritual life and dad accepted it but did not outwardly embrace it. He was more dedicated to enjoying a beer with his mates, going fishing and so on! Dad embodied contentment…that is what I admired about him: he was always contented. In his dying process, he kept mum close by his side, though he was still not able to outwardly acknowledge the spiritual world.

He navigated the dying process with grace. At times there was intense anxiety as consciously he feared the end…the unknown. But always underlying it was a surrender. It was like there was, hidden in that big heart of his, a knowing that the truth is eternal freedom of spirit. He wanted to show me this, to give me this, his ultimate most precious gift of this physical life.

Not long after dad was taken into palliative care he called for me and Sally, my sister, to come home. We spent three very special days with him…just our immediate family: mum, Sally, myself and dad. It was some of the most intimate special time we have ever spent together as a family and we sensed there was an opening for dad to go, so we were able to tell him everything we needed to tell him, thank him for everything, express our love for him and say goodbye.

He did not end up passing at that time but actually bounced back a little bit, so we all said goodbye to him and Sally and I left. A week later mum sensed he was going and called me to come as soon as possible. I jumped on a plane that afternoon.

Minutes before I arrived to dad’s room, mum had this overwhelming need to open the door from dad’s room onto the garden. As she opened the door she saw the big full moon in the sky and felt the cool beautiful fresh night.

I arrived and entered the room. I sat down beside dad and held his hand, though he was barely conscious. I could feel his spirit so strongly and my heart was full of love and within a couple of minutes he passed. His heart energy completely filled the room. I could feel his spirit so tangibly, so strongly and I could see him so clearly in my mind’s eye smiling and dancing with joy. He was showing me so clearly the eternal freedom of spirit.

After contemplating dad’s passing, I realised something. Even though he was so scared of death as being the end and had no concept of the existence of spirit, on another level, deeper than his conscious mind - in his heart - he knew the truth. On this level, he waited for me, to show me the truth. I guess the amazing thing for me was that, even though dad did not do spiritual practices and on a conscious level had no concept of the spiritual world, on a deeper level he did. He showed me that it does not matter in the end. He showed me that the truth is the truth – that our spirit at the core of our being is eternally free, and that this is true for all of us, no matter whether we are outwardly spiritual or not.